Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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