You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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