I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
