Already got asked if we're dating
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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