My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
