Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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