I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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