Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
