What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize