it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
