so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
