did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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