Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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