goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
