Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
