i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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