We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
