you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
