you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
