I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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