I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
