I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
