She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
