I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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