life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
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gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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