It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
