She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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