she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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