it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
