I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
