I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
