if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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