porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
