standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
