either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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