so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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