Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
