We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
