I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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