i used baking grease as lip gloss
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
