oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
