I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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