Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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