it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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