I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
