If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
