Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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