I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
