I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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