Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
