I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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