But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
