Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
