Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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