i don't like sucking hair
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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