You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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