very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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