nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
