I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
