Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
