He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
