My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
