You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
