end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
