I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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